The Entertaining Search Terms Used to Find http://sharon.cc

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These are for learning & entertainment purposes only, in no particular order.

 

The Most Interesting search terms that have brought people to my blog: Up for debate.

can recruitment companies see if I’m unemployed?

when is the right time to promote someone internally?

why is finding a job so easy

getting a job is so easy

 

Google-job related searches: I’m apparently not the only one who wants to work there.

getting a job at google

google recruiter description

steps of getting hired at google

10 steps to get a job in google

waiting for google recruiter to call back

my job dream is google

waiting for a call from google recruter

“google recruiter”

geting a job at google nyc

google job call back

is landing a job at google easy

getting a job at google ny

google recruiter grades

getting job with google

google jobs steps

is google a career

getting job at google

google recuiter not calling back

easy job with google

is getting a job at google easy

how easy is it to get a job at google

google career coach

getting a job at google steps

 

Career Advice:

why talented employees fail

social media and job hunting

career fairs

linkedin summary examples for non profit employees

effective career fair table

is it ok to just walk into potential employers offices and drop off my resume

how to get a career in internal control?

where to find help for the underemployed

labor relations department risks and controls

political science career outlook

degrees needed to become a graphic designer

 

Sharon:

sharon siegel career coaching

sharon taublib

sharon siegel nyc

sharon blog nyc

sharon.cc

http.sharon.cc

career coaching blog wordpress

career counselor recruiter nyc

sharon’s career coaching (.cc)

sharoncc

“sharon.cc”

sharonsjobs.wordpress.com city

career consultants nyc

Other Career Coaches:

robo recruiter

lion cub job search

lavie margolin

effectiveness of career coaching + leave a comment

sharon strong recruit

dont like career coaching

:a look behind the curtain: the recruitment process

sample high school career coach resume

coaching for nyc public admin

talent coaching and development system for web designer

hris figure

Stupid Resumes:

it’s your resume, stupid!

stupid resumes

stupid resume’s

resumes are stupid

stupid wordpress resume

resume cliches

Resumes & Etiquette:

fabulous resumes

fun resume design

presentations improve student career

resume etiquette 2010

resume footers

resume wordpress

resume that looks like wordpress

resume tips

fabulous marketing resumes

What to put on resumes:

buzz words in footer of resume

should i put keywords at the bottom of my resume

“personal info on resume”

social media icons on resume

fitting content on a resume

resume design top

ways to design your resume

top 5 resume tips

what’s a resume footer?

resume with footer

resume tips footer

resume footer example

Cover Letters:

cover letter

curriculum vitae – creative ideas

job cover letter: and I wish you a happy new year in advance.

cover letter for managerial job

cover letter for internship as an auditor

cover letter for student

Harvard: Potential students are obviously doing their homework!

harvard kennedy school interview

resume harvard kennedy school

harvard kennedy school

harvard kennedy school tips

harvard resume kennedy school

ksg school harvard interview admissions

resumes kennedy school

what person harvard kennedy school is looking for

harvard kennedy school employees

harvard kennedy school career services

harvard kennedy school interviews

harvard kennedy school waste of time

harvard kennedy school application interview

how to interview for harvard hks

interview for harvard hks

harvard kennedy school admission interview

answers harvard kennedy school interview

motivation letter harvard by jfk

preparation for harvard kennedy school interview

harvard kennedy school admissions tips

harvard kennedy school resume

harvard kennedy school qualities

applying for harvard kennedy school tips

harvard career interview tips

what job can you get out of harvard kennedy

harvard kennedy application interview

kennedy school application interview

phone interview kennedy school

NYC Civil Service:

nyc provisional employees 2010

dcas long beach decision 2010

control council law no. 10

“qualified or not”

can’t afford dcas exams

“long beach decision”, dcas, 2010

nyc provisional employees

long beach vs dcas

dcas and long beach decision

dcas “long beach decision” 2010

nyc doe provisional employee

dcas long beach

 

 

 

Web & logo design: Obviously designers are looking for ideas to copy…

personal coaching logo

web design

logos from nyc companies

technical logo

web designer

business logo design

psd logo hire company

designer logo

design logo

web designer logos

personal design logos

graphic designers personal logo

graphic designs backgrounds

graphic designer logo samples

personal logo graphic designer

round graphic design logo

innovative 2 part logos

graphic designer motivation letter

 

 

 

 

Random:

seo tips

tips for the ceo

portal project requirements

workplace snob

facebook/myspace reply to “do i know you”??

jdeal

i possess a unique set educational and professional experience that, i believe, match with those required for the position.

sources of recruitment by external sources pictures of media advertisements

educational staffing+blogs

Fail: SEO – It doesn’t work if this comes to my blog:

I’m better than you

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Hiring Ethics Question of the Day: Should Smart People Be Paid More?

Or, in other words, does it boil down to:

The Talent Profile vs. The Talent Myth?

The ‘Talent’ buzzword is beyond overused in the HR world nowadays (although not quite as stupidly as ‘HR should have a seat at the table blah blah…’). There’s an idea that some people are capable of ‘more’ than others, and that said talented people will be your ideal employees.

It reminds me of ‘talent’ programs for high IQ kids in elementary schools. But is that what it’s really about? Smart people are the best employees and therefore should be paid the most? If you got the highest GPA you win the job with a bonus?

I guess that leads to another question: Are there certain people who are really capable of more – or is it about willingness to do more? And what does this have to do with the talent profile?

I think the key thing to take into account is whether or not brains make the best employees. I’m not going to say brain power, aka, ‘talent’, isn’t important – especially for more senior level decision makers – it’s essential. It’s what I look for when I recruit for senior positions – but it’s more than just brains or a high GPA. Plenty of people have those with little ability for application of logic in the workplace.

Now for entry through average-level jobs – I personally think the best workers will be those who are doers, who play nicely with others, with good hearts who help others out. People with disabilities will generally be a better coworker/performer than the smart, lazy ‘talented’ jerk.

So what do you all think? Is ‘talent’ about brains, flexibility, a willingness to go beyond status quo – or something else entirely? Should ‘talent’ be directly linked to compensation?

Shortlink to this post: http://wp.me/pWfpN-dp

Networking vs. Applying to Advertised Jobs

I have never, ever gotten a job through an online job ad.

I once had an interview for job I applied to online, but the eventual offer I received was half the salary that was advertised. Next.

I always see so many jobs advertised. I advertise the jobs I recruit for myself. I’m guilty of applying to jobs I see online.

When my friends & clients need jobs, I look to online ads.

But what’s it worth?

I think this really hit me when I got my first full time consulting job. I heard about the position from someone I met with who suggested I might enjoy recruiting instead of career & life coaching. Once I got the job, I was given access to the pool of candidates where I saw around 350 others had applied for the job I was given. I was so astounded that so many people took the time and put in effort to apply – yet I was chosen, and even dared to ask the hiring manager who selected me why they picked me (because hey, I’m blunt and do things like that. Do not try this at home *ahem* work kids).

So, why Sharon? Networking. I had been highly recommended from a key talented employee for the role. My résumé had experience related to the position, but not an exact match – but I matched my qualifications to those required for the position.

Blindly sending out resumes all over to interesting positions, especially if you’re looking to change careers or industry, generally will not get you far. You’ll more likely get burnt out than get a job (but I applied to 20 jobs this week! You say) and you’ll start to look and feel desperate.

So when do online job applications work?

Scenario 1: Let’s say you’re a business analyst. You’ve been one for 10 years in a few different settings, and have a degree (or 2) from a top school. You apply for a job as a business analyst. You have a pretty good chance of getting an interview call.

Scenario 2: Let’s say you’re a business analyst. You’ve been one for 10 years in a few different settings, and have a degree (or 2) from a top school. You apply for a job as a director of business analytics. You probably will not get a call.

Most hiring managers nowadays want someone who already has had the title or a very similar one for a different company. No companies are looking for people they have to train or teach management skills to. They’d probably promote someone internal to the job if they were open to training.

So what’s a candidate to do? Network & apply to online jobs.

Limiting your search only to online applications is just that – a limited search. Networking is great, but at some point in the job process your resume will be requested – the employer will want to see that you’ve walked the walk – the one you claimed you walked when you met them.

Networking alone can work for some people – but it generally takes 2 essential elements: people skills – and people.

Certain personalities connect well with strangers better than others – as well, it’s just as important how strong of a network that you meet who are interested in helping others.

Even winners won’t get far networking with a network full of losers 😉

So Happy 2011 Y’all – Now stop reading blogs and get yourself the career you deserve!

Shortlink to this post: http://wp.me/pWfpN-d2

Taking a Blogcation: Happy Holidays!

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Hi Y’all! Thanks to a nasty stomach virus that’s been circulating, I’ve, well, been out of circulation for a bit. In fact I’m so nauseas, I think I’ll stop typing shortly.

Let me just take a moment to wish you all happiness & health (I sure could use some): Happy holidays, happy new year, and happy job hunting – use your vacation time to find your next opportunity!

Take advantage of the time when everyone else is goofing off – if yours is the only resume that comes in that day, it has a better chance of being considered!

Until recovered,

Yours truly,

Sharon

The 7 Not-So-Highly Effective Habits of Career Fair-Goers

Image by Argonne National Laboratory via Flickr

As that I attended a career fair as an employer today (or yesterday rather when this gets published), I feel it’s as good of a time as any to bring up etiquette for career fairs. I won’t go into serious detail about researching companies and applying to the jobs before the career fair (and before everyone else does) – I’m hoping that’s a given. This is more of what to expect from both the people at the employer table, and what should come from you on the other side to make a (decent) memorable impression.

(Disclaimer: You can disclaim anything you’d like by saying disclaimer, but as always, these are my thoughts and opinions, and no one else can dream of taking credit for them, especially my employer. Please note this is for a said employer whose positions and job advertisements I shall no longer be posting due to internal conflict).

So I’ll start with the ’employer’ side at career fairs. There are prepared recruiters at fairs, and there’s the staff that’s dragged there and asked to do recruiting a favor. Not always the case, but depending on company size and number of recruiters left after downsizing, and you never know if the person you’re speaking to is the company lawyer (i.e. I have a tendency to recruit my OEO department to assist with OEO recruiting at these).

Some tables will have no one at it, just materials to take about the company or their jobs. Other tables will be giving away tons of things & having promotions to get attention. This generally boils down to company budget. Which leads into my personality type #1…

1. The Brazen Hand-Out Thief.

Oh yes, the not-so slick person who is obviously not looking for a job, who is immune to dirty looks – they want nothing more than your squeeze toy, pen, ruler, or IRS spray on hand sanitizer (ok the hand sanitizer one is justifiable at a hand-shaking event, especially for those loose, sweaty-hand shakes, but still…).

At one career fair someone came right up to me and said, “What do you have for me? I said, of, are you interested in heard about our jobs? And he corrected me, and said, “No, what are you giving away?” I apologized that I had nothing – so the guy stole my water bottle just to walk away with something. Some people are like that at career fairs – they’re there for the handout pens. Make sure that’s not you – even if the company you walk up to doesn’t have a job for you. You don’t need a squishy light bulb anyway.

I’m not saying don’t take the pen – I’m just saying be polite. Understand these people may not actually have any say in the hiring process, and may in fact be from completely different departments than you’d be interested in working for.

So what’s a job seeker to do?

Have a conversation. Start with the usual introductions & handshakes (which again, why this is still done in flu season bewilders me) and then ask the person a question, like, “What type of positions do you have available now?” It’s simple, easy, and although it makes the person talk, it’s a natural conversation. Walking up and delivering your elevator speech about your sales expertise – only to find out a company has accounting openings only – will make you feel silly & will leave an awkward position. Take this to the extreme, and you have rude personality #2…

2. The Talker.

While you definitely want to talk to the companies presenting at the fair and make a good impression, as with all experience in life you need to make a brief, strong, memorable impression – and then leave. Overstaying your welcome applies to the career table too. Notice ques of when the conversation is winding down, offer a card or resume, and then walk away. Dragging out the conversation will not improve your chances of candidacy if it’s not natural or there’s nothing relevant to say. The talker also is inconsiderate to others waiting in line, and just keeps trying to monopolize the table’s time…but believe it or not, you can actually make it worse by…

3. The Salesman.

Oh, you don’t have any position available at your accounting firm for a doctor? Oh, well, here’s my card in case you ever get sick, you might be glad that you have my info. I can do x, y, and z for you as well…

Now is not the time. Career fairs are not your personal sales floor, and I really doubt this will drum up business for you. More on shameless promoting here.

4. The Liar.

Well, I’m sure they would just consider themselves the ‘boaster’ or ‘exaggerator’, but still, if you don’t fit the bill for the company’s open roles – man up and move along son, move along. No point trying to twist what you’ve done…why yes, I’m an accountant, but I think the fact that I’ve done the taxes for my doctor for the last six years qualifies me for you physician role…

Now this does not negate trying to translate your wanting to change fields and explaining how your experience is relevant to the new role/field – but keep it real.

5. The Non-Talker.

Wait, didn’t I just say don’t over-talk? Well it’s not good to walk up to a table and not say enough. Especially if you’re shy and small talk isn’t your specialty – consider it good interview practice, by making strong eye contact (without leering – #6 to come) and making professional small-talk with employers. It’s not a comfortable situation for the employers to have to try to figure out what jobs they should be telling you about. They also shouldn’t have to introduce themselves to you – they have a huge sign. You know who they are – after all their name is on the pen you just pocketed.

If you find it really hard to get talking, try to open the floor to them, say their materials show they have accounting positions only. You can ask if they anticipate any openings in your area in the near future. You can ask them for a card & connect with them on linkedin if they accept, and ask them to keep you in mind if roles in your area open up. Don’t force conversation, especially if it makes you anxious. You’re better off taking it online.

You can also ask if they can pass your resume on to the sales department. Could be there are positions being recruited for that the person at the career fair doesn’t even know about. Then walk away.

You also might benefit from preparing a script of potential things you’d like to ask or say to an employer, try rehearsing it in the bathroom mirror…whatever works for you to get you talking comfortably. A slick talker with no experience can make a better impression than an expereinced phD who is…

6. The Leering Candidate.

Ahh yes, you want to talk to your dream company. You came to the career fair because your dream company was attending. You’ve been waiting for this moment for years (Hey, why have I never gone to a career fair where google was presenting? Hmmm maybe I’m on to something).

So now you’re faced with your dream company, and you’re terrified. So you wait on line, staring at the table for 10 minutes. Then you lose your bravado, and circle the table again. Then you circle the room…all the while watching the recruiters.

And they know you’re watching. You’ve officially become a creepy leering candidate. They are now probable more scared of you than you are of them. Recruiters tend to be observant people-people. Just walk up, stand your ground, and get it over with. Just try not to grovel at their feet when you get to them. And finally…

7. The Legal Nightmare…aka the career fair version of an ambulance-chaser.

If you walk up to a table and say something that will put up red-alerts that you’re looking for places to sue more than jobs, your conversations might start with one-liners like…

“Does your company have any positions open for people ‘like me’?” Or, “I’m pregnant. Will this hurt my chance at candidacy?”

It’s the career fair equivalent of putting too much personal info on a resume. Once you offer information that’s not legal for a recruiter to ask you, you might be making them uncomfortable. Or, worse, if they’re closed-minded, you might have just given them ammunition to discriminate against you.

Now I’m not saying to hide things – but there’s a time and a place for everything, although in the professional world sometimes the right time is never.

This also extends to trying the ‘cultural or racial connection’ with the employer. Don’t think that because the recruiter at the table is the same demographic as you, that they’ll want to give you any special consideration or opportunity because of it, and to imply so is on the tasteless side.

Let me end with a personal example to drive this point home.

Say I’m at a career fair, and I see google. If I walk up to them and say, “Hi, I’m Sharon, and I need to leave work early on Fridays for personal religious reasons. Is that OK?” At this point, especially if the recruiter isn’t familiar with Jews, they’d be rolling their eyes behind my back. Or rather rolling their eyes over MY head – to see the next candidate in line, as that I just removed myself from the potential employee database.

Instead, if I walk up and say, “Hi, I’m Sharon, and I am so excited to meet you. I’m a big google fan, and think the google labs are so much fun! Do you happen to have any talent recruiting or organizational development roles available now besides the ones posted on your website? I applied to that one yesterday.”  By this I’ve just opened the floor, shown some knowledge of the company, my eagerness to work for them by putting in effort before coming to meet them – and most importantly – I won’t get the brush off from them saying, “The first step all potential candidates need to do is apply online, so you can go home and go to our website, h-t-t-p-:-/-/-g-o-o-g-l-e-.-c-o-m…, ok, thanks, bye”.

Shortlink to this post: http://wp.me/pWfpN-cD

Cover Letter Tales From the Dark Side *ahem* Inside of Recruitment

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Anyone have any job leads for a talented writer/editor in the Northern Connecticut area (Lakeville, CT ideally)?

Let me give props to my hiring manager who I’m quoting below for sharing some advice directly with you all. Next let me repay them by giving a shoutout to anyone reading this in Northern Connecticut. My hiring manager’s brother is a super accomplished writer/editor/Yale grad who needs a full-time job in the area (yes you should never school-name drop for yourself, it’s tacky, but no reason I can’t brag for a complete stranger). He’s also happy to make a  career change to internal and external communication/PR work.

Please feel free to post any leads/ideas in comments or email them to hookabrotherup@sharon.cc of even better, hook him up directly & see his writing style (while giving his blog a nice stat traffic spike) at http://www.explanationizer.com/

Now for the juicy stuff to help you…

“Thoughts from a hiring manager:

If there’s anything you can do to encourage people to include a cover letter–a REAL cover letter–you know, one that makes the connection between their resume/experience AND THE JOB THEY’RE APPLYING FOR, you’d be doing people on both sides of the interview process a HUGE service!”

In other words, ditch the, “I believe my skills and experience would be an asset to your organization for your open position.” That only makes you look bad.

Instead try, “I would kiss your feet everyday on my way into the office and bring you coffee from a street cart if you hire me to work at google. My 15+ years of experience buying street coffee combined with my foot fetish and unwavering, slightly obsessive desire to work at google would make me an ideal Recruiting Manager for your New York offices. I want to make an amazing place to work even better, and would make sure to get google back in the #1 spot on the best places to work list by bringing in the top talent of our city. I’ve done this for 12 different companies in less than three months at each blah blah blah.”

Hope you get the point kids…just don’t creep out the hiring manager either, so keep the fetishes mum, ok?

Shortlink directly to this post: http://wp.me/pWfpN-bJ

5 Basic Reasons Your Resume Wasn’t Even Viewed

Image by SOCIALisBETTER via Flickr

 

Of course as usual recruiting should be an objective science, but as that it’s humans and computer systems combined trying to figure out if they want YOU or someone BETTER than YOU to work for them, you might get knocked out of the pool quickly with these simple issues.

1. You saved your resume in a non-standard format (i.e. docx, wordpad, even occasionally pdf’s get tossed). Stick to a basic word format – you have nothing to lose.

2. You have an immature or inappropriate email address. Yes, this includes having your age or the year you were born in your email, not just sexykitten@hotmail.com – when you’re TimSmith88@yahoo.com, We know you’re 22ish, and probably don’t really have the 10 years of experience on your resume.

3. Your name. I would personally never discriminate, but I heard this from a coworker who did a large study in her masters program: 2 applications were put in for the same job, one with an ethnic name, one with a ‘white sounding’ name. The applications with the ethnic names were disqualified first.

Now I’m not saying to change your name, but if you have a more American sounding nickname or middle name, it might be worth trying to see if you get a better response. Just correct them at your interview, unless you always want to be known by this “American” name.

4. You applied to every job the company had posted on the website. Some job sites have spam guards that will think you’re a bot spamming them (when in reality you’re a human spamming them – because applying to every job IS spamming) and will delete your application.

Stick to only applying for jobs you’re qualified for and really want. There’s no way you want to be an engineer, custodian, hairdresser and an IT person – so don’t apply for them all.

5. Your cover letter is lousy, looks like it was written by someone else, or could have been written by anyone. It had spelling/grammar mistakes, or perhaps the company or recruiter’s name misspelled; it had clichés like ‘My skills and experience would be an asset to your organization’. If someone can’t take the time to cut and paste in the company name and title of where they’re applying for, then perhaps another ‘organization’ who doesn’t mind laziness will hire you!

The Lousy Networking Advice of Others – Top 5 Tips to Ignore

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So back to all the holiday parties and networking events you’ll be attending this season. While lots of people have their own do’s and don’ts – here are what I think are surefire ways to make networking events a waste of time by following the type of advice they offer in Yahoo! Home Page articles. More on considerate networking in my article Hi, Nice to Meet You. Me, Me Me, Me, MeMeMe… at: http://wp.me/pWfpN-2M

1. Ask for a Reference

At networking events, some suggest asking people you respect and have had positive working relationships with ‘for a reference ‘, hoping they’ll get the hint that you’re on the market. They imply that this is less awkward than asking for help with a job search.

I think this may backfire as that people aren’t generally so forthcoming with helping others, and will mistakenly assume you have opportunities already if you need references, as that no one checks them early in the hiring game.

2. Use Elevator Speeches in Conversations, A.K.A. “30 Seconds of Bragging” 

I think they’re great ideas in general, to present subtlety in conversations at interviews. But in social, networking environments? You sound like a used car salesman, but even sadder is that you’re selling yourself. I was recently at a networking event, having a lovely conversation with someone, and then he started ‘accomplishment dropping’. I don’t know why he was compelled to give me his pitch, I started spacing, looking for other people to talk to, before I had to hear more. Did you know I’ve improved recruiting for my for my company despite a five million dollar recruiting budget cut?

 3. Offer Unsolicited Advice

No one likes to hear what they could improve or are doing wrong in life. Calling people on their “stuff” doesn’t help you make friends faster. Some take it more gratefully than others, but generally if you’re trying to get someone to help you (i.e. find a job, buy your product, etc.) complimenting them is a better approach.

At a family event, someone complained greatly about their employment situation. I suggested they try reading my blog for advice, as that hey, it’s there for that reason. The person volunteered to me that they think my blog is too negative. That I ought to have a more positive tone, and be more encouraging.

While this person meant well, all I could think was, hey, I’m offering to help you, and why don’t you write a preachy blog? See how many readers you get?

But instead I was a good girl and kept my mouth shut, and I was humbly reminded that this is why I don’t write touchy-feely self help books and stick to my ever-so-snarky blog.

 4. Hand Your Card to Everyone Who Will Take It

It’s like the people who stand on street corners handing out menus or the fliers for the shady ‘suit sale’ a few blocks over.

No one wants to take it, and if they do, they’ll be looking for the nearest garbage to toss it into and be bothered. Few will say, hey, thanks for YOU! Unless it’s a promotional item with your info. If you’re handing them a pen with your info, they might just happily pocket it and look at it again later

5. Politely Blend In & Be Quiet

No one likes the loudest person in a room, but no one notices the quietest one either.

Wear a black suit, white shirt, black shoes, bland accessories, black and white business card, and you’re guaranteed to stand out as much as a penguin in a group on penguins…which one were you again? Especially if you’re on the quieter side, now’s the time to practice speaking about your assets and let your own style stand out. Be confident and assertive in starting conversations with those who you feel you may have a potential association with. 

Throw on a brightly colored accessory, men, that’s your tie, ladies, a professional yet spunky scarf, shirt under your suit, bag, or shoes – but definitely not all of these combined. You don’t want to scare people off or give them the wrong impression that you’re one step away from more colors than the muumuu’s in a Florida retirement community…unless you’re trying to land a gig in the arts or fashion district. They allow for more flamboyance.

Being a Sore Layoff Loser

Image by State Library and Archives of Florida via Flickr

Lost your job?

That sucks.

But it doesn’t mean you have to lose your life. If anything the opposite, now you have time for one.

I’ve heard it a few times voiced a few ways, but altogether it’s a sad statement – I’m not going to my college reunion…holiday party…local grocery store because I don’t have a job. I even heard someone was afraid to go to a wedding, for fear that she didn’t have a good response to, “What are you doing nowadays?”

So I guess the sad answer would be, “I haven’t been doing much since I got laid off…just applying to jobs here & there with no response.” Then skulk away into the masses where you belong at the bar.

The too-truthful answer you can’t give would be, “Please pass the bean dip. I’m desperate for a job. Can you get me hired where you work?” (But hey, if your hostess is socially inappropriate enough to serve bean-anything at a social occasion then perhaps it’s an awkward enough crowd that you could pull off that statement?)

So how about this holiday season, try for  a happy, socially appropriate medium. Don’t be ashamed that you lost your job, so did another 10% at least of people you know most likely. Speak up about your need when asked what you’re doing, it’s not a thing to be shy about. No one will offer to help you if you don’t know they need it. And now that you don’t have to get up early in the morning, you have plenty of time to socialize the night away.

 Look at every party or occasion as a chance to network. ALWAYS have your card on you, but never pass is around inappropriately. Yes, there are those t-shirts everyone’s been selling online saying things like ‘hire me’ or ‘I need a job’, but most people don’t have the confidence or the wanting to wear any slogan t-shirt to party – but if you’re up for it, I doubt it’ll hurt your job prospects and makes an easy conversation starter.

Try working the fact that you’re looking for an opportunity into conversations, but be careful not to be too self-depreciating. Unless you’re generally sarcastic enough to pull it off, it’ll come across as desperate as you are (just kidding…sort of…see what I mean?).

Maybe try, “Can I get you a drink? I sure could use one since I lost my job…heard of any good roles around?”

Besides, you do know not to eat bean dip or other ‘difficult’ foods at parties by now, right? Well now you do. You’ll pick up some smoked fish on the way home and enjoy that smell all for yourself.

And just maybe your friend’s coworker Russel, the guy who got too drunk at the holiday party and got fired, will need a backfill. Yup he’s the same guy that ate the fish and bean dip!

Stupid Resumes: 5 Content Reasons Your Resume Was Trashed

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Please bring the shredder a little closer to my desk. I have a lot of resumes that need to go in there.
So I hear people want to know why their resumes get thrown out some more . Here are a few more tips to stay out of the circular file. Imagining yourself on the other side of the fence can be helpful for figuring out why you didn’t get that call.

1. You’re looking to change fields without explaining yourself. While you might think you’d make an excellent paralegal after your IT position layoff, and have no legal experience whatsoever, just try to imagine what it’s like for the client. They pay mega bucks to hire a lawyer, but the paralegal does a LOT of the casework & preparation for them. You’re paying $500/hr for someone with no relevant training or experience. How would that make you feel?

2. Keep in mind cultural fit. It’s very easy for me to tell a hiring manager, hey, this person has the skills you want, just try to overlook their body odor and dirty clothes. You have to fit in where you work, both within your department as well as the company at large. If you’re a PETA activist and an accountant, and your resume screams ‘save the animals’, don’t think you’re going to be called in to interview for a slaughterhouse account role you applied for. You might be desperate enough to want the job due to the economy, but don’t think the company will be desperate enough to call you in for an interview. Check out my post on religious & activist resumes if you’re concerned about how your resume presents at http://wp.me/pWfpN-b.

3. You have to make a compelling case for yourself to be called with your resume. If 500 people applied to the job you’re applying for, what have you presented to impress? If you’re bored reading your own resume, everyone else is too. If you sound just like everyone else, you’ll remain unemployed like everyone else. If you keep repeating the same information over and over and over and over and over and over again, no one wants to hear it, even if you did the same thing at each job. No one wants to read it. No one wants to read it. No one wants to read it. Sick of hearing the same message? So are recruiters.

You need to make yourself sound like you’re done varied things with progressive responsibility. It’s OK that you haven’t always been a director, but faxing, photocopying, and answering phones do not each deserve their own bullets. Just make sure you’re not compelled to do a functional resume. As I’ve said before, Functional Resume = Shady Resume (http://wp.me/pWfpN-8).

4. You’ve included information that makes the hiring manager or recruiter uncomfortable. In other countries marital status, photos, exact salary histories, age, and number of children are required on a resume. Here it just screams: Wow, I hope they don’t sue for discrimination based on info the candidate has included. They say when in Rome, do as the Romans. When you’re applying to a job in America, don’t include personal information beyond talents & what you can bring to the table. TMI (Too Much Info) is a definite turn off. Another post I have about Resume Content (http://wp.me/pWfpN-1P).

5. You’ve included stupid information. Yes, I said stupid. There may be no stupid questions, but there are definitely stupid resumes. You might be an exact fit, but then list on your skills & hobbies your love of the Mets. The hiring manager is a Yankee fan. You just potentially lost candidacy over a completely irrelevant fact on your resume. Again, if they don’t ask for that type of info on the posting,  and it’s not a job to work at Shea Stadium, keep personal preferences and tastes off your application.

Besides, who still likes the Mets?